10 Communication Tips to Succeed
How to communicate so your needs are heard and attended to?
- Ask the person when would be a good time to talk. This is an indirect invitation for someone to listen to what you have to say, yet at the same time you show your respect by giving them a choice and space to decide.
- Listen to your own body for any signals that are coming from the other person. Once you trust yourself and your judgement, and master the skill of listening to the non-verbal clues, you will become an incredible communicator. There are always signals, use them. Our non-verbal language covers 93% of the transmission! (55% body language, 38% tone of voice and only 7% words). Do not underestimate its indications.
- Use a calm and gentle level of voice. Imagine how would you like to be spoken to, to respond in the most receptive manner? Put yourself in the recipient’s shoes. Use kindness.
- When you talk and listen, use your own body language. Using it shows your active listening skills and that you understand what the other person is trying to put across. Again, put yourself in their shoes to see their point of view biased by their own experiences. Acknowledge their perception.
- Use empathy, not sympathy. Try to see things neutrally, only then you are able to arrive at the best solution with objective feedback. Otherwise, you will get yourself drawn into someone else’s way of thinking that will overcloud your inner critic.
- Always take ownership of your words and use “I” rather than “we” or “you”. Instead of deflecting responsibility or blame, be courageous and speak for yourself. Even if you speak to your loved ones, you don’t know what they really think and feel. You will soon learn, how very powerful ‘the owned’ statements are.
- Do not try to have the last word, allow your interlocutor to have it, even if you disagree with something. Remember, you have no chance to convince someone that is already strongly assured of their rights. Nevertheless, you can always influence anyone, by your kind, caring and considerate approach and provoke a natural positive shift.
- During an important argument try to outline the benefits of adopting your ideas for the interlocutor. Do not focus on yourself and your gains, emphasise the advantages for the other party. The end result will benefit you too, the both of you anyway.
- Try to use LOVE and KINDNESS in communication. The power of pure LOVE is beyond any measure the most convincing, shifting and moving tool you can apply into your dialog. Think of the pure AGAPE kind of LOVE (the love for other being) when you hold any conversation. It holds an immense volume of influence and significance.
- And finally, allow the conversation to end without your intended result. It doesn’t mean you failed. Sometimes, we just need to wait a bit longer for our desired outcomes. Perhaps there is an extra lesson to be learnt in between the conversation and its sequel? And sometimes the other party needs a bit more time to digest the message before acting upon it. Be patient. This is another virtue.
PS. And always remember to breathe! Next week I will write more about the importance of breathing whilst communicating.
Thank you for reading
Love & Aspire